Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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