4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
