your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
