He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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