Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
