im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
