guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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