so explain again why im purple
no
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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