Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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