So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
