Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
