Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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