i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
