Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
