checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize