I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".