We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.