so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
