As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
