Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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