So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
