I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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