So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
