Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
