That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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