the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
