i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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