you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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