i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
