I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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