Umm I'm too high to move.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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