East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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