i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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