yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
