i always forget guys have bellybuttons
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
