ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
