I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize