around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
