OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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