she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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