she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize