He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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