wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
