Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
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