Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
