Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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