Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
