Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
