my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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