If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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