she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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