tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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