We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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