So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize