i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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