Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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