I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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